PEANUTS OF THE PAST:
PREVIOUS COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!

This week's poem: "The Chasm"

Author: Suli
Copyright notice: (c) Suli 1999
Poets Niche Group #7

THE CHASM

I looked in
and breathed
Deep

I approach
just feeling

Probing

Pupils wide
no light
yet
no fear

Alone on this
journey

It is desired and it shall be done

I attend to this

seeking to
love and accept
the furious emotion

this offering of peace
inside

and ascend

Suli

Comments from the poet(s):(no commentary given)

Here were some of the comments received from the Peanut Gallery:

Commentary by: bams

Before I start, I must make a confession: I'm hooked on Suli's writing. Rare is the poem from her that I don't instantly "get", or like. To say this piece flows for me, is an understatement. That makes it difficult, though not impossible, for me to be objective in my critique. But like I said, not impossible. The smooth flow of this poem is surprising, in that most of the lines are short, with one or two words per line; even with this "stutter" (for lack of a better term), "The Chasm" is effective. Indeed, it might be effective *because* of the short lines; they convey the urgency "she" feels in approaching that chasm. Strangely enough--considering a comment another Gallery member made about it--the only part that made me scratch my head was the line, "It is desired and it shall be done". It wasn't a big problem for me; I just was unsure of what Suli was trying to say here. The balance of the poem, though, left no room for doubt; I found myself chuckling, "been there! done that!" by the end. Great job, sis. Though we only had one other person respond to Suli's "song", his "voice" was most def a welcome addition to the Gallery "chorus":

------ Comment submitted by: Shaun Cecil

All week I keep coming back to this. One line has intrigued me, kept me thinking and rethinking the poem..."It is desired and it shall be done.." I find the line crosses several lines of thought and feeling for me...It is desired...others so desire, It is desired...I want it done...It is desired..God so ordained it...so much in so few words. The whole work caused me to look back at the chasms that I have crossed in my life...and I wonder...was it desired, and who desired it? This poem could and should spark some really interesting arguments, discussions..it should "ascend."

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Once again, I thank Suli, the author, as well as Shaun, for their contributions to this week's Peanut Gallery; I look forward to works from them both in future MotWRC editions, and hopefully to others joining with their critiques.