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I DON'T REMEMBER LOVE
 
I move through many emotions
Much like a rider on a train
First stop lust,
Then infatuation
Next disgust
Finally disdain

I want to hold you liable
For this cycle of unnecessary pain
Until I recall
You extended your hand
To me time and time again

My mind conjures images
Creates situations and scenes
To excuse my ill-behavior
To open the door for me to leave

I don't remember love
But I can smell heartache a mile away
I skulk around like a buzzard
Feeding on carcasses of pain

I don't remember love
I've read about it many times
I empathize with the character's plights
But my own recollections only cause a frown

If I could remember love
I would hope that it would remind me of you
Someone caring and generous
Protective and spiritual too

Please don't let my misgivings cause you alarm
Maybe I'm just not the one for you
'cause I don't remember love
and dating you is conjuring déjà vu

Nicole McLean © phoenix_nm@yahoo.com

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BUDDIES

She moved
Strolling with ease through the crowd
Her hips sashayed,
Her body swayed in the breeze 

She reached the bottom stair
Laughter bubbled around her lips
As her eyes lifted upward
Suddenly she slipped

Oh! The sight of that smile
Made her knees just so weak
His immediate and massive presence
Left her unable to breathe

Their exchange was quite brief
His nervous energy she spied
She hadn't seen him in months
Though you couldn't tell from her smile

They had no relationship to speak of
Though more than passing acquaintances
He'd visited her often
And he'd touched those secret places

Each time he left her side
In the middle of the night
She'd roll over and wonder
How many times this would be alright

Afraid to stir the waters
In their shallow pool of friendship
She went along with the plan
Only buddies… just kicking it

As the evening drew to a close
The party dwindled down to five
She strolled to his side
Prepared to say her good-byes

Suddenly she heard herself say
In a voice much surer than she felt
What would persuade you 
To visit me at my home?

His reply was too quick
She almost asked him to repeat it…
"Just say the word… and I'm there…
pretty lady with the sweet hips…"

He mentioned to his friend
That he may be unable to stay
'cause it looked like he would be swayed 
to visit a good friend that day

She parted her lips and said
As carefree as a breeze…

Though your presence was requested
And I do need you near me

Today is not the day 
That being my bed buddy 
Will be sufficient…
 
Nicole McLean © phoenix_nm@yahoo.com

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ATTRACTION

It's the twinkle in his eye
The shimmer in his smile
The melody of his laugh
The jazzy rhythm of his style

A man with a confident swagger
And a mesmerizing grin
Has caught my heart in a noose
And he's reeling me in…

The distracted caress 
of his hand on my arm
the slight whiff of his scent
Has me inextricably drawn 

My desire for him
Grows each time that he's near
The attraction is strong
Yet so is the fear…

It's the mystery of the man
That makes the chase worthwhile
The desire to learn him
Keeps the attraction in style

I don't want him to be human
With problems and faults
It's the fantasy… 
The façade
That keeps me hanging about.

Nicole McLean © phoenix_nm@yahoo.com

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LOVE'S PASSING

I awaken from my daze
Totally amazed
At the place I find myself in

Perched delicately on a precipice
That leads down to a jagged valley of despair
Unable to move…
Cocooned in a web of fear

I face
A clear blue ocean sky
Of love, admiration and hope

Recollecting grand memories of flying and leaping about
I used to glide so gracefully
Through the waves and pools of passion
Supported by strong sturdy wings of faith

Today a backward glance shows that
Behind me lies the fear…
Bramble bushes and briar patches of desperation and anxiety
Surround me on all sides

Scraped, bloodied and bruised 
I emerge painfully slow
From the forest of dread
Stumbling blindly with no path to follow

Darkness and dampness drenches my spirit
And soaks my wings with blue raindrops 
Of remorse and trepidation

A tear sketched a hollow path along my face
As I mourned the setting of the sun
Its fiery passion once again rests and slumbers
With the passing of another day and another love

Nicole McLean © phoenix_nm@yahoo.com